The alternate PFA Awards – Spurs, Newcastle and Stoke stars take your bow!

Football FanCast columnist
Ian Woodcock gives his alternate PFA Nominations to those who have turned in
complete shockers this season.

So the PFA nominations are out and shock of shocks there are
five United players in it (and Steven
Gerrard, just for some variation.) But what about the other side; the
players who have had complete shockers? Ladies and gentlemen, I present the
alternative PFA nominations.

Dave Kitson (Stoke City) – Signed
from relegated Reading for £5.5 million with the aim of keeping the Potters in
the Premier League. He came with a big price tag, big expectations and an even
bigger ego. Five months later he headed back to Reading with his tail between
his legs moaning about living ‘up north'. Dave, Stoke is in the Midlands (the clue is in the name) and you were
dreadful. No goals in nineteen appearances and often ignored for Mamady Sidibe,
which just about says it all really.

Scott Carson (West
Bromwich Albion) – Oh Scott. I didn't want to have to write this. Really I
didn't. But you have left me no choice. Ok so he has played behind a somewhat ‘suspect'
defence but he has hardly imbued them with confidence. At home to Chelsea he
got beaten on his near post three times, away at Villa he somehow managed to
spin Gabriel Agbonlahor's cross into the back of his net and against Stoke he
let Ricardo Fuller's twenty yarder beat him on the ground in the middle of the
goal. Too many high profile mistakes and it looks like he'll be in the
Championship next season. Let's not even mention England.

Deco (Chelsea) – It all started so
well for the little Portuguese. A great goal on debut against Portsmouth
followed up by the winner against Wigan the following week. It seemed like ‘Big
Phil' (Remember him?!) had really pulled one out of the bag. Sadly, just as the
avuncular Brazilian's honeymoon period came to an end so did Deco's ability to
do anything good on the pitch. Suddenly it became apparent why Barcelona was so
willing to let him go. Too slow, too lazy and probably too old. Hiddink now
views him as someone to bring on to save other player's legs and close out a
game. Score when he came on against Bolton on Saturday 4 nil Chelsea. Score at
the end of the game 4-3 to Chelsea. Oh dear.

David Bentley (Spurs) - Looked to be
a good, if too expensive, signing when he arrived in the summer for £15
million. Seen as something of a trouble maker at Blackburn by virtue of his
river Thames sized mouth. Started fairly badly as it was clear that Juande
Ramos had completely lost the plot. Our ‘Arry came in and Bentley, initially at
least, showed flashes of brilliance (his
forty yard volley against Arsenal being one such flash.) Sadly, since then
he has all but disappeared and is clearly viewed as nothing more than a squad
player. Will almost certainly need a move if he is to get anywhere near the
England squad again. How the mighty have fallen.

Michael Owen (Newcastle) – Ok so
this is harsh. It's not his fault that Newcastle are rubbish. It's not his fault
that he spends more time in the treatment room than most physios do. But
watching Owen now is nothing short of heartbreaking. The teenager, who ran from
the halfway line in France 98, has long since exited stage left. To be replaced
by; the exasperated arm gestures every time a team mate locates a ten yard pass
four yards past him and the look of bemusement as defenders he used to skin for
fun jog past him. He's further away from the England squad than his manager.
Liverpool gave Fowler a twilight spell. How Owen must hope they'll do the same
for him.

Alfonso Alves (Middlesbrough) -
Arrived with a monster reputation in January 2008 (scored seven goals in one game for Heerenveen. SEVEN!) and a
monster price tag, £12 million. Did just about enough at the back end of last
season, scoring twice against Manchester United, to suggest that he could turn
out to be a decent signing. Unfortunately for Boro, he has spent the whole of
this season doing his best Hamilton Ricard impression and whereas last season
it was two goals against United this time out it was Barrow. Should Boro drop
out of the Premier League, as looks likely, Alves should be made to stay and
get them back up. It's not like there'll be a long list of takers, anyway.

So that's my list but as with everything else in football it's open to
interpretation. Who do you think should be nominated for football's least
wanted prize?

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