If the PL BIG Four were musical artists…
Manchester United – Madonna
Well, it couldn’t be anyone else could it? The parallels between the Red Devils and Lady Madge are uncanny. For consistent periods, both have been definable as the biggest players in their respective fields; United as the undisputed biggest club in the world and Madonna as the biggest artist in the world. Both have reinvented themselves after comparable periods of quiet (displaying what Iain Dowie would refer to as ‘bouncebackability’).
Sir Alex Ferguson has managed to build several different title-winning teams, such as the mid ’90s side of Ince, Kanchelskis and Cantona, the late ’90s side of Yorke/Cole, Giggs, Scholes, Beckham & Keane, as well as the late noughties side of Ronaldo, Rooney, Ferdinand, Vidic et al. After several stints in the musical wilderness Madonna has repeatedly comeback to top the charts, succeeding with her early ’80s music, her mid-90′s ‘Ray of Light’-era return and her early noughties success with ‘Music’.
Liverpool – Guns N’ Roses
Anfield may not resemble ‘Paradise City’ at the minute, but that is not the only reason I have chosen to liken them to hard rockers Guns N’ Roses. Both enjoyed overwhelming success during the late ’80s, but have failed to return to those heady heights since. Band and club alike retain hopes of maintaining their place at the ‘top’ despite intense internal conflict; Liverpool find themselves in the midst of messy ownership, management and personnel problems, whilst Guns N’ Roses have suffered from having a fluctuating line-up and the departure of key members.
Chelsea – U2
Unreasonably successful, intensely disliked and full of old men. This sentiment could apply to both U2 and Chelsea in equal measures. The arrogance-fuelled hatred of Chelsea is not dissimilar to the vitriol aimed at U2′s brash frontman Bono. Since 2005, Chelsea have enjoyed a glorious period of trophy-laden success, whilst U2 continue to sell out the world’s biggest arenas.
Unfortunately for Mr. Abramovich, the club’s failure to land that elusive Champions League crown means that he still hasn’t found what he’s looking for.
Arsenal – Cheryl Cole
Aside from the reprehensible treatment afforded to them by all-round good egg Ashley Cole, the similarities between Arsenal and Cheryl Cole are unquestionable. Both unequivocally look the part, with Arsenal renowned for their pretty football, and Cheryl adored for her stunning looks. However, both flatter to deceive – Arsenal’s aesthetically-pleasing football has yet to yield silverware, whilst Cheryl Cole has failed to ally her good looks with the ability to sing.
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Ashley, Chelsea have been here since 1905. Those who say we don have history don’t know about history. Typical haters.
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Chelsea are Miley Cyrus….utterly useless but for heavy financial backing (in her case Disney, in Chelsea’s case Roman). Liverpool are more Metallica than Guns, brilliant in the 80s, crap now but still holding on to those days. United is Pearl Jam, took total control in the 90s and still going strong.
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Don’t waste your time with it Harry, the ‘Chelsea aint got no history’ comments are just a boring jibe from bitter fans.
It’s something which is most likely said by arrogant, bitter and ill-informed fans, who believe that history and success are one and the same…well, they are not.
It’s the same as saying Chelsea were useless pre-Abramovich like they came straight from the conference or something. Never mind being a top six side since 1997, won a few cups and qualified ahead of the mighty Liverpool to earn a Champions League spot without a proverbial pot to pee in.
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With regards to Chelsea – in terms of tangible ‘history’ (i.e. stretches of success in the past), they have nothing in comparison to a lot of other teams (especially those in the big four).
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Arsenal are Elvis Presley. The first big hitters in the business. Arsenal in the 30′s, Elvis in the 50′s. The image needs a revamp. Currently flaccid.
Man Utd are the Beatles. Basically top dog. Refs worship them.
Chelsea are the Rolling Stones. Super rich and don’t give a stuff what anyone thinks of them. Pure London arrogance. Refs give them what they want AND what they need.
Liverpool. I considered Dire Straits, for obvious reasons and Elton John, as in bringing up the rear but ended up with Queen. Massive in the 70′s and 80′s, Freddy’s tache, but a bit like my beloved gunners just not good enough anymore to compete at the highest levels.
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