‘Aaaaaargh’: Noise of frustration made by a player who has just over hit a pass, or put a shot wide. Usually exclaimed by the player in the Barcelona Messi shirt, it is done to suggest that the previous passage of play was deeply uncharacteristic, and that his shirt doesn’t usually look…

“Niall Quinn plans several meetings with fans across the region’s pubs to clarify his comments on fans watching foreign television”- The South Shields Gazette Minutes of Meeting Venue: Dawdon Miners Welfare Social Club Attendees: Niall Quinn, Chairman. Steve Walton, Chief Executive. Selected fans. People watching events through choppy internet stream: not recorded. *Quinn began…

Leaving early then, where do you stand? Not in the walkways, ideally, because it wouldn’t be fair to obstruct the views of others, and the last thing you need as you slink away in shame faced embarrassment is to induce a kerfuffle with the stewards. And don’t…

You will be familiar with Suliman’s cleavage from a Marks & Spencer billboard ad campaign supposedly commissioned in response to complaints of their charging more for their bigger sized bras than their regular sized ones. Their point appeared to be... well, outside of ‘here’s a large pair of breasts!’ I’m not quite…

I suppose you’ve noticed the bandwagon jumpers by now.  Happens every time, of course, and all that can be done is to grin and bear it.  Like Christmas, though, it seems to come earlier every year and for months before it even started it seemed like you couldn’t move for people…

Daniella Cavalieri is a Brazilian model and wife of reserve Liverpool goalkeeper Diego.  Her hobbies, to judge by the available pictorial evidence, include reading, wearing thongs, and reading while wearing a thong.   What with her using them to complete an enigmatic motif in modelling shoots, and with him browsing through them…

Almost all of the online literature dedicated to her seems to regard Kimberley Mills as the only Wag yet to “cash in on her boyfriend’s fame.” Thought about logically for a moment, taking a second to estimate how many professional footballers there are in the country and how…

People not at work during the day for whatever reason- maybe they’re unemployed, or students or Albert Riera- have two options to help them waste away the hours:  Sky Sports News or  double bills on the Paramount comedy channel.  You can watch one, or the other, but to watch both…

Where were you when you heard, then?  The news I mean.  More pertinently, where was Ashley Cole’s phone?  It was that very phone that heard and broke the news first, via a text sent by Cheryl.  Who can say where it was though?  That’s the thing about Ashley Cole’s phone, isn’t…

Rebecca and Rio were married in the summer of last year.  Nothing flash, just your standard two storey glass Great Room, the usual covered up barbequed area with swim up bar, and the positively run of the mill four thousand foot outdoor ‘entertainment square’.  Weddings being weddings, and…