If cab drivers, tabloid newspapers, radio phone ins and Carlsberg adverts have taught me anything, it’s that the one thing an England captain needs to be, is passionate. In fact, if any of those things have taught me anything at all, it’s that all an England captain need be is passionate. Actual footballing ability is an added but non essential luxury, somewhere down the pecking order below bravery and not being a total bastard. And so it was, to great fanfare, that Sky Captain Flight Leftenant Scottsforth “Scotty” M. Parker was tasked with the brow beating, chest thumping honour of leading out his country, almost 20 years since he earnestly tried to convince us that takeaway McDonalds was the surefire path to professional sports excellence. Rewarded no doubt for his commanding performance in the North London derby last week, Scotty was all blood and thunder kamikaze heroism and no nonsense football. Imagine Carlos Tevez but without most of the skill, none of the unbearable arsery and only some of the facial scarring. At one point he even tried to win back a ball he’d lost with his face! And in the end, isn’t that all we really want from an England captain? Well, no. But it’ll do for now.

Tomorrow’s Children – Staying true to his edict of showcasing things we wouldn’t normally see in an England team, Stuart “Psycho” Pearce manfully led from the front by showing us what he’d look like as a proper, grown up manager in a suit, complete with imitation Scott(y) Parker hair do. This had the unfortunate side affect of making him look ever so slightly like a right wing politician vying for mainstream credibility, though it did at least dampen his previous unfortunate resemblance to Bradley Walsh’s permanently kitted, over eager assistant from Mike Bassett England Manager. And the pervading notion that he was always secretly hoping to be brought on. On the field his mantra took shape in a number of ingenious ways, most notably playing Danny Welbeck as a lone target man, and then instructing everyone else to play as far away from him as possible. Daniel Sturridge’s introduction provided some needed impetus, though his slightly baffling man of the match performance mainly consisted of a nice wriggle and shot early in the second half, and a lovely cushioned pass back to Stekelenburg. Meanwhile the youthful defence were nothing short of admirable in their consistent ability to look more composed, assured and effective going forward than they ever did defending, which was thankfully aided (or perhaps encouraged) by the fact that Scott(y) Parker spent most of his time playing as a kamikaze sweeper.

Yesterday’s Men – Despite this brave new world approach in defence and attack, the ethos obviously failed to fully stretch to midfield where, for reasons that continue to escape my fragile mind, the mighty talents of Barry, Milner, Downing and Young were yet again given their bi-monthly chance to under whelm us all into tedium. To Ashley Young’s credit, he has at least conspired to gather a rather impressive goal tally, which – by the law of Crouch – entitles him to a prolonged presence. The others however continue to be considered as “still promising” or “settling in” despite for all intents and purposes being relative mainstays. Pearce qualified his exclusion of the good old boys (i.e. the mainstays we actually know are quite good, but getting on a bit) on the grounds that we all already know what they can do. Paradoxically, he continued to pick players who we’re all very well aware of what they can’t. This slightly schizophrenic approach was given an added dimension by the simultaneously indulgent and undermining inclusion of Steven Gerrard for 30 minutes. If giving new blood a chance was the aim, surely playing Welbeck and Sturridge together from the start would be more preferable than playing a knackered Gerrard for a token cap whilst very publicly giving the captaincy to someone else? Oh Psycho, to know your mind.

Mind the Gap – Despite what was actually, despite my nit picking, quite a spirited performance, the one stark contrast at play was just how large the gap was from Holland’s impressive front three to anyone in England’s roster. Arjen Robben in particular did his best to ram home just what the difference was between some decent well meaning try-hards and a genuine world-class player. This despite the fact his first goal was aided by some of the best English defensive retreating since the American Civil War and the fact he continues to run like a ballerina trying not to step on a hot floor.

You’re sh*rt, and you know you are – All in all though, it was an enjoyable game, and not an embarrassment of any kind for England for once. For one, we were playing a World Cup runner up of genuine class rather than a collection of semi professional firemen, and many in the side are young and learning enough to write off the defensive frailties as youthful exuberance. In fact the only truly offensive thing on display last night worthy of scorn and derision was the new and completely unneeded kit, and indeed, everything it stands for. For shame. If only we had some brave, passionate, no nonsense kit makers, everything would be alright.

You can follow Oscar on Twitter at Twitter/oscarpyejeary where he will gladly offer to dye the crest on your England top red for £50. Shipping not included. 

After a scoreless first half, Arjen Robben opened the scoring for Bert van Marwijk’s men just before the hour mark, and Klass-Jan Huntelaar doubled the Dutch side’s lead less than 60 seconds later.

However a young Three Lions side fought back, and goals from Gary Cahill and a last-minute Ashley Young strike looked to have given England a draw, but Robben struck again in injury time to decide the game in the Oranje’s favour.

Interim manager Stuart Pearce stated that his side may have been slightly naive in the nature of the defeat.

“We probably showed a little bit of naivety and a slight lack of belief,” Pearce told ITV1.

“That’s something we’ve got to get into the squad, going forward.

“Once we’d got ourselves back into the game, we’re disappointed to have been beaten. But there were a few good showings, we learned a lot and that was the exercise.

“I’ve offered my services in the summer. I’ve really enjoyed the last few days, it’s been fantastic and the players have been outstanding. Their focus and contribution in training has been very good. I enjoyed tonight.

“I don’t think I took the post to prove anything to anyone. I’m in a situation as Under 21 manager and they needed someone to fill in on the short term and I also said “if you need me to take the team to the Championships in the summer (I will)” and that’s it.

“I’m sure they’ll go through the process of getting someone in place before the summer and if they don’t, then they know they have got me available and all the planning is done,” he concluded.

By Gareth McKnight

Click on Michael Ricketts to unveil the worst England XI of recent times

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The Gunners’ marksman sat out his nation’s final training session before the game at Wembley as a precaution, after feeling pain in his groin.

Van Persie scored the second goal in Arsenal‘s 5-2 win over Tottenham in the north London derby on Sunday, but also felt a slight twinge in his groin after the game; he went on international duty with the understanding that if there were any further repercussions he would be rested.

Van Persie’s involvement against The Three Lions now looks unlikely, but his national boss Bert van Marwijk’s is more hopeful that his star attacker will feature against Stuart Pearce’s side.

“I am optimistic that he will play. We will have to wait and see but I don’t think it’s too serious,” the coach told The Guardian.

With Van Persie in rich goalscoring form and a catalyst for Arsenal’s revival this season, Arsene Wenger will be eager for the player to sit out the friendly if he is not 100% fit.

By Gareth McKnight

Rafael Van der Vaart has never been the shy, retiring type, but his constant stinging attacks and public criticism of Harry Redknapp’s decisions have started to cross the line. He is beginning to talk himself out of Tottenham, like he has done at other clubs in the past.

Van der Vaart’s latest criticism of Redknapp, came after Harry’s decision to play him on the right wing during Sunday’s win against Arsenal. Although Van der Vaart put Spurs ahead, he was at fault for the equaliser, as he failed to track Alex Song down the flanks, as he set up Aaron Ramsey’s goal. We know Van der Vaart prefers to play a central role, and sure everyone wants to play in their preferred position, but sometimes you just have to take one for the team. His latest comments characterise his selfishness and his laziness, as well as his unwillingness to put the team before his own ego. We see plenty of other players in the Premier League who aren’t playing in their natural positions, but few if any come out and publicly criticise their manager. Redknapp took a risk playing him out there, in order to accommodate him in the side, so he should of just got on with it like a professional, instead of whining about it to the press.

The very public way he has criticised Redknapp both this week, and over his fitness issues and Europe League omission in the past few months, is a worry. These matters should be dealt with in house rather than aired in the public arena. It is embarrassing for the club and manager, and it will be interesting to see how much longer Redknapp puts up with it, as it could be damaging for morale and it is disrespectful to the club and his team-mates. Redknapp is known for his man-management skills, but this might be a bridge too far, even for him.

His latest outbursts seem as though he is trying to stir up controversy, and might be trying to seal a move away from Spurs. His market value has increased after an impressive spell at the club and he knows the big European clubs like AC Milan are sniffing around him. It seems as though his behaviour might just have a hidden agenda behind it, as he tries to force Spurs into a position where selling him would be the best option for the club. His outbursts signal that his future may lie elsewhere come January, and that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for Spurs as they simply don’t need a player with his kind of ego. A lot of teams haven’t fancied him in the past because of his attitude, so it will be interesting to see if anyone wants to take a risk on him, should his ploy to engineer a move away from White Hart Lane be successful.

Do you think Van der Vaart is talking himself out of White Hart Lane? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below, or following me on Twitter @LaurenRutter for more comment and debate.

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“Some people think football is a matter of life or death… I can assure them, it is much more serious than that.”

For many, Bill Shankly’s sentiments have permeated almost every facet of their lives, from John Westwood, who legally inserted ‘Portsmouth Football Club’ between his first and surname in addition to his 60+ Pompey-related tattoos (including the PFC engraved in his teeth), to more than 35 divorce cases which have cited the Football Manager video game series as a significant factor in relationship disintegration.

That any individual can commit themself to a computer game to such an extent is a point which barely requires consideration, but the fact that Portsmouth have assiduously flirted with extinction over the past 18 months illustrates a broader concern for football fans, whose dedication to the sport is critically disproportionate to what they receive in return. Following a team usually proves to be an expensive undertaking, with season tickets/match-day entrance an account-destroying alternative to forking out for a Sky subscription on top of the costly merchandise and travel expenditure required to be considered a ‘true fan.’

In various scenarios that repeatedly emerge in each and every football calendar, a fans’ firmly held opinions alter and allegiances shift. For example, one fan may opine that their supported club is better than others within its country of origin based on several criteria, then later suggest that the entire league of that country is better than others that exist within the continent, and then support their national side which will almost always contain players from rival clubs that they spend 90% of the year criticising, and 10% selling their car to afford the fee to watch play.

Supporter standards aside, perhaps the most damaging cost to all lovers of the beautiful game is the absence of organised competition which regularly exhibits the globe’s finest talents. In reality, there are roughly between 100 and 150 exceptional footballers on the planet, and although certain players’ statuses are elevated due to completing poignant landmarks for their clubs, – such as loyalty in terms of appearances or scoring a goal which provided the difference between survival and relegation, winning a trophy and being a runner-up etc. – in every generation only a select few can legitimately be regarded as exemplary athletes within their field.

The UEFA Champions League is generally interpreted as the most esteemed stage a footballer can perform on (other than the FIFA World Cup), and its seeding process dictates a top category of eight teams who qualify based on their European performances over the previous five seasons. If we take that each squad contains about 10 world-class players at most, and that a small number of teams containing world-class players will always be just outside the top 8 seeds every year, then we are left with the 100-150 players I referred to earlier. For example, Manchester United – finalists in three out of the past four competitions – have the quality of Nemanja Vidic, Wayne Rooney and Patrice Evra, but also the capable, but far from world-class standard, individuals such as John O’Shea, Darren Fletcher and Michael Carrick.

The same could be said for every team: Arsenal – Samir Nasri, Cesc Fabregas and Robin van Persie/Denilson, Abou Diaby and Laurent Koscielny; Bayern Munich – Arjen Robben, Franck Ribery and Bastian Schweinsteiger/Mario Gomez, Holger Badstuber and Daniel van Buyten; Chelsea – Didier Drogba, Fernando Torres and John Terry/Paolo Ferreira, Salomon Kalou and John Obi Mikel; AC Milan – Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Alexandre Pato and Antonio Cassano/Kevin Prince-Boateng, Mathieu Flamini and Ignazio Abate. The list goes on, but you get the picture.

It seems unfair, despite the multifarious reasons such as insurance, employment contacts and sponsorship arrangements, that in every generation of great footballers we are denied the opportunity to see the best in the sport compete with each other, devoid of unequalled influences. The unremitting universal media coverage prior to the recent European Cup Final between Manchester United and Barcelona implied that the globe’s best two teams were battling for the club game’s most prestigious honour. But the hidden rhetoric suggested that the fixture was merely the closest we could get this year to seeing the best players on the same pitch at the same time, an emphasis that was arguably more relaxed than the reportage before each of the five Barcelona v Real Madrid Clasicos last term.

Although the Catalans succeeded emphatically at the expense of their rivals – disregarding Madrid’s narrow extra-time triumph in the Copa del Rey – they also possessed the highest concentration of world-class talent. In no way am I arguing that great players make a great team, as numerous Bernabeu Galactico projects evince in addition to Liverpool’s sub-standard 2005 Champions League winning side, but that a regularly held competition with only the very best participants represented by only the very best management would provide football lovers with an unrivalled spectacle that transcends club-based supporter enmity.

Surely I’m not the only one curious about how Cristiano Ronaldo AND Lionel Messi would perform in the same team, much like a team with Zinedine Zidane and Francesco Totti at their peaks would be like, or Diego Maradona and Michael Laudrup, Pele and George Best, Paolo Maldini and Carles Puyol etc. etc. The merits of the club game are unquestionable; the transfer auctions, local derbies, league and cup honours and fan devotion, but what if every two years we could enjoy a summer tournament of purely exceptional quality without supporter bias, where the audience attended for the sake of enjoyment rather than enduring customary stress and inevitable heartache?

Continued on Page TWO

Unfortunately, the former captain at Eastlands was absent for the team’s first cup triumph in 35 years when his brother, Yaya, converted the only goal in City’s 1-0 win against Stoke in last month’s FA Cup Final. “Before I signed for City I told Kolo I wanted to come to England to play with him and win something together,” said Yaya before the Wembley showpiece. “That won’t happen on Saturday, and that means it will be a hard moment for him, and for me as well.”

The public response to Toure’s misdemeanor was initially empathetic, but a deeper inspection of the player’s intent suggests that he was looking to gain an advantage over his Premiership compatriots by attempting to lose weight in a purportedly unnatural fashion. The extent of his punishment is arguably proportionate to the committed crime, but taking a glance at recent cases of substance abuse in football illustrates a confusing and unpredictable process for punishing those guilty of failing drugs tests.

In the summer of 2001, Holland midfielder Edgar Davids tested positive for the anabolic steroid nandrolone, and was subsequently handed an eight-month suspension from all football by the Italian Olympic Committee. Following appeal, Davids, who was playing for Juventus at the time, was awarded a reduced sentence and served just under four months. By the time Davids was reaching the final few weeks of his punishment, his Dutch team-mate, Jaap Stam, had too tested positive for nandrolone and received a five-month ban with a 50,000Euros fine.

The procedures which dictate the severity of a footballer’s punishment related to substance abuse remain bewilderingly unclear, especially seeing as nandrolone has been proved to aid recovery, increase muscle size and strength, increase aggression and competitiveness and allow an athlete to train for longer and at a higher intensity. Having been proved guilty of having an alarmingly high level of nandrolone in his body, Davids served under half the length of Rio Ferdinand’s suspension for simply not attending a drugs test which when completed just 24 hours later resulted in a negative verdict. The Manchester United defender suffered further punishment having fulfilled his ban during England’s unsuccessful Euro 2004 campaign, and had every reason to feel unjustly treated based on previous drugs related instances within the sport.

Until a rigid set of regulations are conceived which clearly describe the punishments for each type of banned substance, then it is likely that drug taking within football will continue, both consciously and unconsciously. But then again, why would we care? After all, the world’s greatest player took growth hormone tablets for four years in order to reach a height of 5ft 6inches, after doctors stated that Lionel Messi would only stand at 4ft 7inches otherwise. Whilst his talent remains devoid of scrutiny, no-one could argue that the Argentine would be the talent he is today without having been assisted by medicinal supplements, yet Toure enters the summer months apparently overweight and haunted by the thought that anabolic steroids may have been a more sensible option than Slim-Fast.

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What’s more surprising is that the FA has taken this long to consider encompassing changes to the fabric of youth development in this country, seeing as the national side has endured years of underachievement without a steady stream of young talent emerging behind them. For decades, children in South America have been coached in small-sided games until the age of around 15 when they are then faced with a decision to switch to 11-a-side professional football. These same methods have been employed to help produce talents from Pele and Zico right up to Ronaldinho and Lionel Messi.

In Italy, Spain and France, children have to wait until they qualify for the under-14 age group before they can compete in 11-a-side matches, and have each won a World Cup within the past four tournaments. “What we are proposing will give them the environment to develop those skills,” explains Southgate, “with 11 v 11, there are fewer touches for players. If we go to that format too young then it becomes a much more of an athletic-based game. We have huge pitches that kids can’t get around. It benefits the physically stronger players but there’s a real danger that we lose the smaller, more technically gifted ones.”

One of the most significant motivations driving Southgate’s proposals is Barcelona’s and Spain’s recent domination of club and international football, borne from very different practices than exist in England. “I suppose we’ve had a Paul Scholes come through who would have been able to play in that Barcelona team because his quality of touch, pass appreciation, ability to play one-touch and to manipulate the ball was up there with them, but would we have produced lots of them like Xavi, Iniesta and Messi? I suspect not,” the former Middlesbrough manager asks. “We would probably have overlooked a lot of those and not necessarily at club level. It might have been years before that. At Sunday football level, the guy who was trying to win a league didn’t pick the smaller kids.”

Southgate’s vision must not be ignored, but condensing the sport and altering the techniques used to train youngsters is just the start. Holland, a nation whose football is traditionally recognized as being more technically adept than in other countries, benefit from an organized grassroots model which William Gaillard, senior advisor to UEFA President Sepp Blatter, has suggested the English FA imitate. The Dutch Football Association (KNVB) is the single governing body of all 2,700 clubs in Holland – 36 of them professional – with around 1billion Euros worth of investment pumped back in to the youth game every year, 90% of which funded by local authorities, the other 10% by the government.

In 2000 the Football Foundation stated that the FA would contribute £20million per year to grassroots football in England, yet by last year the FA’s contribution was only £12m. The Premier League contributes £43.4million, less than 5% of its latest £3.1billion television rights deal, and yet we all expect technically gifted youngsters to break in to an England team capable of winning the World Cup. Southgate is at least on the right path, but the grassroots situation in England is so flawed in every way that a complete overhaul in line with emulating the positive aspects of other, more successful, countries is required.

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A week later the Gunners labored to an unconvincing, and late, draw at Fulham and surrendered a third placed finish in the League to the developing Manchester City. “Next season we have to try [to come back stronger],” the Dutch striker added. “Everyone starts from scratch and we have a chance, it is up to us to prove it.”

Although a customary series of relentless excuses have emanated from the Emirates since their exits in March from both the FA Cup and Champions League – following last-minute heartache for Gunners fans against Birmingham in the League Cup at the end of February – van Persie’s impressive form throughout the past five months has at least provided cause for optimism heading in to next season.

The former Feyenord front-man in fact equaled Thierry Henry’s and Cristiano Ronaldo’s scoring record since January 1st by finishing 18 times in the League, eventually ending in third – behind Dimitar Berbatov and Carlos Tevez on 21 – in the Premiership top scorers column. What’s more, the Dutchman smashed Didier Drogba’s record of scoring in six consecutive away games in the Premier League by netting nine in a row, including in the recent draw at Craven Cottage, which will allow him to continue this feat at the beginning of the next campaign.

The Arsenal faithful were finally rewarded this year after several seasons remaining patient, having been constantly pressed to support their ailing striker through countless long-term injuries, as van Persie ruthlessly surpassed his previous record of just eleven League goals in the 2007 and 2009 seasons. His 66 Premiership goals in seven full seasons in England fail to accurately explain the striker’s contribution to his team nor the unique style which he employs to baffle opposing defenders. It is worth mentioning that the Dutchman hasn’t been selected in more than 28 Premier League starting line-ups in any one season during this period, and found it difficult to dethrone first Thierry Henry and then Emmanuel Adebayor following his returns from injury.

He is by a distance the most important and potent attacking threat the Gunners retain, and if he can avoid the treatment room next year then we may finally witness what the precocious 20 year-old had promised on his Highbury arrival in 2004. Now reaching what many consider the age a striker reaches their peak, it is not inconceivable to imagine the Dutchman maintaining his free-scoring form next season and achieving the feat he narrowly missed out on by three goals this year – especially taking in to account the two players who finished above him, Tevez and Berbatov, face worryingly uncertain futures in England for varying reasons. For the time being, we will have to wait as patiently as his manager to discover if the forward can deliver consistently over the course of a full-season in 2012, but retaining his services remains Wenger’s most important transfer battle in terms of attacking options for next season.

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The Dutch forward received glowing praise for his performance that day and was hailed for his “unsurpassed work-rate,” according to the Independent. “He was in the right place to apply the finishing touches to complement the artistry of Luis Suarez. Looks like Kenny’s football philosophy has been assimilated by the whole squad, and Kuyt leads the way in showing what can be achieved through hard work,” the article continued. It isn’t the first time Kuyt has been acclaimed for his unrelenting work-rate, but why is this vague perception of the former Feyenord front-man’s abilities enough to detract from a shot’s to goal ratio similar to Emile Heskey’s? It is worth remembering that Kuyt was signed five years ago following a successful career in his native Holland where he scored 119 goals in 261 appearances for his previous club and Utrecht, but was soon transformed in to a wide player with questionable results.

Kuyt has scored 12 times in the League this season, equalling his best ever campaigns in his first and third seasons in England, which doesn’t represent a good enough return bearing in mind he has also contributed only 29 assists in the league in five years as a ‘winger.’ All footballers are regularly trained athletes, and Premier League participants are the fittest representatives seeing as a large number can compete for 90 minutes over the course of a 50+ fixture season. Each position requires a different type or types of effort, and Kuyt has found a way to merge his duties with those of a defensive midfielder and still remain a fans’ favourite. Kuyt certainly doesn’t look out of place in a team of Liverpool’s standing, but we are too quickly fooled of his true gifts because of his inexorable desire to hunt down the ball.

If you think I’ve been too harsh on Kuyt, have your say on Twitter

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