As the fight for Premiership survival hots up, Martin Kane discusses whether relegation to the Championship can be looked at through rose-tinted glasses.
It's a wonder that anyone turns up at Fulham these days. Since defeating Arsenal in late 2006, the home support at Craven Cottage has seen just six league victories. Those poor lunatics who travel with the team have seen precisely no wins in the same period, and Fulham's last on-the-road triumph at Newcastle in September 2006, owed much to the benevolence of Toon's defending than it did to any great attacking endeavour.
Then there is Derby, a team that have achieved one win all season, frequently been on the receiving end of routs, and look set to undercut Sunderland's tally in the exceptionally tough ‘lowest Premiership points limbo competition'. Both sides are strong candidates to drop out of the Premiership and into the perceived obscurity of the Championship, where outings to Arsenal and Manchester United are replaced by trips to Scunthorpe, Colchester and quite possibly next season, Doncaster. How much should this bother them?
The ramifications of relegation are different to every team. As Leeds and Bradford found to their cost, gambling on Champions League qualification or Premiership survival is a risky business. Bradford's spending in the Premiership saddled the club with debts that have contributed to them plunging all the way to the very bottom division. You get the distinct impression that if a club such as Newcastle were relegated, it would be both a financial disaster, as well as a footballing one, with some hefty salaries to pay on parachute payments and Championship TV money.
However, for the well-managed smaller club, the Fulham's, Reading's and Derby's of this world without superstar salaries, would a season or two back down in the Championship be so horrific? Already message boards are beginning to spot the silver lining to the drop; the increased likelihood of winning matches again.
First up, let's be clear on one thing - that getting out of the Championship is not easy. This season alone we have seen Sheffield United struggle, despite keeping the majority of their Premiership squad and significantly enhancing their strike force. Southampton have yet to mount a serious assault at the Championship title, while Charlton and Watford have are both hunting for a return without dominating the division, both currently occupying play-off berths. However, I am fairly certain that Derby will win more than one game should they go down, and that Fulham's horrifying record away from Craven Cottage would improve. You would certainly expect both sides to win more games than they lose, and what a refreshing change that would make. Fans, players and officials would also rediscover the wonderful habit of winning, and enjoying the glowing feeling that a victory adds to your Saturday evening.
In spite of all this, can you willingly crave relegation? There is almost something terribly deceitful about it - akin to taking a ‘sickie', or cheating on a partner, and what does aspiring to relegation say about your ambition?
It is hard to see why you would trade the likes of Ronaldo, Fabregas, Berbatov and Gerrard at your ground each game, for the less star studded Championship fare. However, after a while, does the constant run of LDDLLDLW, not get a bit tiresome? Admittedly you certainly enjoy the win in that sequence, but my, don't you earn it.
Sitting through vintage passing football from Arsenal or Manchester United is one thing - you can appreciate that. Watching 87 minutes of poor quality football, culminating in your keeper getting near-decapitated by an opposing player, and then having the ball end up in the net via his arm, is quite another. Fulham's last match was an allegory of their season to date; very little adventure, some outright poor quality, a few tantalising glimpses of brilliance; snatched away by a late goal, and more than a little bad lack accentuated by poor officiating.
Do Fulham supporters really think that if they stay up this season it will get substantially better next year; or if they go down that it can be a great deal worse? The modern day Championship is nowhere near as bad as the Endsleigh League that Baddiel and Skinner so maligned in the 90's. The presence of Stoke, Bristol City and Plymouth in the promotion places demonstrate that there is an air of unpredictability, while the reassuring sight of Watford and Charlton in the top four shows that (as long as you don't appoint Bryan Robson) you can make a decent fist of things in the Championship following relegation. Is it so wrong to pine for a season where you win a few matches? I don't think so.
However, one team to keep in mind are Everton. Seemingly throughout the 1990's they were embroiled in one relegation battle after another, and twice survived on the final day of the season. Looking at them now, apparently on the cusp of something special, you have to wonder whether they'd have managed it had they gone down. Maybe wanting relegation is too much, but if it does happen, try and see the bright side.
To get a feel for life in the Championship, tune in to the latest Championship Podcast by clicking here.