Football is a funny old game. And it seems that quality extends to the names of some of the players who have played the beautiful game. Here’s our top 10 list of the funniest names in football.
10. Ice Cream
Osa Guobadia decided that his name was a little too run-of-the mill and thought he needed something with a little flavour. So naturally he settled on Ice Cream.
9. Jean-Jacques Missé-Missé
The regrettably named Cameroonian striker spent most of his career in Belgium but he had spells in Scotland with Dundee United and with Chesterfield in England. During his time in the UK, Missé-Misseé more than lived up to his name as he failed to score a single goal.
8. Dominique Dropsy
For a goalkeeper, being called Dropsy doesn’t necessarily bode well but despite his unfortunate name, Dropsy was capped 17 times for France. He also managed to start a game for Les Bleus in their 1978 World Cup game against Hungary which France managed to win 3-1.
7. Danger Fourpence
Awesomely named Zimbabwe international Danger Fourpence sounds like a cross between a Charles Dickens’ character and a Bond villain. Fourpence plays for CAPS United who have developed something of a reputation for having players with brilliant names. Amongst the players that have plied their trade for the club are Givemore Manuella, Gift Makolonio and Limited Chicafa. But Danger Fourpence is my personal favourite.
6. Anthony Philip David Terry Frank
Donald Stanley Gerry Gordon Stephen
James Oatway
Or Charlie to his mates. Oatway’s parents were massive Queen’s Park Rangers fans and decided to name their son after the entire 1973 promotion winning side. The name Charlie reportedly came about when Oatway’s parents told his aunt about his unusual name, to which his aunt replied he’d “look a right Charlie”.
5. Creedence Clearwater Couto
What better way to declare your love of your favourite band by naming your child after them. Unfortunately for Brazilian striker Creedence Clearwater Couto, that’s exactly what his parents did. The Spice Girls were not happy.
4. Have-A-Look Dube
Another Zimbabwean player with a comedy name, Have-A-Look Dube was last seen playing for First Division side Border Striker after being released by Premier Division club Njube Sundowns in 2008.
3. Mark De Man
Probably the most apt name for a centre half ever, Mark De Man is a Belgian defender who is currently playing for Germinal Beerschot in his native Belgium. No doubt hilarity ensues on the training ground with a name like that.
2. Bongo Christ
Like his religious namesake, Bongo Christ is something of a journeyman. The Congolese striker has had spells in Germany, Switzerland, France, Mexico and Gabon before retiring from football in 2008.
1. Ars Bandeet
And so we come to the number spot on our list which goes to hilariously named Algerian international Ars Bandeet. Not much is known about the midfielder but he was part of the Algerian national team set-up during the 70s.
Any other funny names we’ve missed out on?
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