Remember the Italy game? When it was four deep at the bar and the bar staff were ignoring you anyway because they were all watching the game? Oh… we remember. Now, though, that nightmare is over. All the part-time fans have lost interest and you’re laughing all the way to the front of the queue.
There’s still plenty of games to kick-off at 5pm and what kind of heartless boss would deny a football fan like you the basic human right of leaving work at an adequate time (3.30pm) to take the glorious once-every-four-year spectacle that is the World Cup? If the worst comes to the worst, just bail out and tell the office you’ll make it up to them in the winter.
So what if it’s the new series of Celebrity Masterchef? That constant, attritional battle with your significant other for possession of the flicker is over. England are out. Of course you’ll want to watch most of the other games, however, letting control of the TV slide when Algeria vs Russia is on will only guarantee your spell in charge when the business end of the tournament comes about.
Let’s be honest… you were never going to leave the country when England still had a shot at winning the competition. It would have been ethically wrong. Now Roy’s boys are out though, those summer holiday plans that had been put on ice can start to materialise. Go watch the final on a beach somewhere – you’ve earned it.
Take a deep breath, relax. That agonising combination of heart-break, disappointment and self-loathing at your own hopeless optimism can finally be put to bed. Well, for four years that is.