Paradoxically, this nightmare XI starts off rather pleasantly in the form of Manchester United No.1 David De Gea.
The 23 year-old has been one of David Moyes’ few saving graces this season; whilst the rest of the United backline have looked like they couldn’t organise a knees-up at a brewery, De Gea has maintained his ability to produce a handful of outstanding saves per match. He kept the Old Trafford side alive against Olympiacos, and can hold his head high after producing a number of impressive stops in the Manchester derby.
Football Fancast want a hint of realism about this select XI and quite frankly we can’t envisage any circumstance in which the Spain international won’t be marshalling between the sticks for the Red Devils permanently next term – barring a serious injury, and even then, a small first-team berth for understudy goalie Andreas Lindegaard is hardly a horror story of Steven King proportions.
But don’t relax just yet United fans; De Gea’s inclusion in this Nightmare XI is like one of those dreams that starts calmly and innocently enough, right before a 90 foot chicken appears out of nowhere and begins pecking out your insides.