I’m sure José would have allowed himself a little smile when Kevin De Bruyne managed to hit the bar from a yard out.  José in his hotel room thinking: “I was right and better still, I have the real Belgian star in my squad.  Someone I can really rely on.”  

City and Chelsea was a game of incidents and it was this incident that changed the course of the game.  Not Luiz cleverly avoiding a red card, that barely made the footnotes by the end of the game.  De Bruyne did better than Raheem usually does from that position as the England midfielder would have got it up and over the bar, but the £50m Chelsea reject still achieved the improbable.  

Suddenly Chelsea were with us, clearly feeling that they only needed to play for half an hour to beat their title rivals.  The game will be remembered for more than the result however, and one or two questions will need to be answered.  

Firstly, how is Gary Cahill still considered England’s number one centre back?  Secondly, how many red cards would José have got for sarcastically clapping the 4th official in the style of Guardiola and, thirdly, what is the true reason for Aguero wanting to finish Luiz’s career?  

I think the final question is the most important.  I mean, this is not the first time Aguero has launched himself into the Brazilian.  Maybe we will never know.  One thing we do know is that Sergio is going to get another four game rest, somewhat conveniently smack bang in the middle of December when all the Christmas parties are going on.  Credit to Cesc Fabregas, though.  He skilfully set up Costa and then equally skilfully set up Fernandinho.  Quite the return to the starting eleven.

Speaking of Christmas, it is guaranteed to happen once a year, a bit like Andy Carroll heading one past the Arsenal.  Yes, Carroll was the most obvious anytime goalscorer bet of the weekend and I hope someone cashed in.  The problem for West Ham was that he needed to do it six times if they were going to outscore Arsene’s men.

Sanchez was in one of those moods and his treble was the best thing to happen at the London Stadium to date. Wenger claims Alexis will not be staying at Arsenal just for the money.  Really, Arsene?  He won’t be staying to win league titles, will he now.  Therefore it is a fairly safe assumption that the pounds and pence have something to do with it.

Slaven Bilic is clearly on borrowed time at the Hammers, not just because the owners have publicly backed him.  He suggested that the “intensity” has gone in training, which is kind of falls under his remit of things to fix.

All Bob Bradley had to do to avoid a thrashing against Spurs was to read some of my recent columns over on my daily blog.  My tactical plan for Spurs is fairly simple.  My theory is that you don’t put any kind of tackle in in the area and certainly don’t let anyone called Harry shoot.  Sadly for Swansea they chose to ignore my advice, Dele Alli going all Michael Owen and earning Harry Kane the chance to score yet another penalty.  They say Ozil and Sanchez are the best double act in North London but they are wrong.  It’s Harry and the penalty spot.  

When quizzed about Alli’s shameless dive, Pochettino took the opportunity to make it clear he still bears a grudge towards the aforementioned Owen. Back in the 2002 World Cup Poch’s dangling leg led to Owen gaining England a match winning spot kick of their own.  Still, it’s good to see that he’s over it.

I’d really appreciate it if David Moyes could go back to being rubbish. I have no interest in eating humble pie for my Christmas Day meal and the way Moysey is turning it around at Sunderland is concerning me.  Having said he spent many nights sitting in a darkened room after a defeat his electricity bill must be going through the roof.  

As of now I refuse to refer to Leicester City as “champions” as they clearly cannot be bothered to do the title any justice.  I still think Ranieri would be best off getting all the Premier League game between now and the Champions League knockouts moved to a Tuesday or Wednesday night.  That’s the only way I can see him getting a decent league effort out of Mahrez and Vardy.

Smug Al was on top smug form after Palace eased past Southampton.  Pardew wasted no time to wax lyrical about how he had changed the training on Friday to address some defensive issues.  Honestly, it had nothing to do with the entire squad demanding that they do some defensive work for once, particularly on defending set pieces.  Nothing at all.  

Smug Al also took the opportunity to have a pop at Palace’s recent investors, claiming they know very little about football.  Of course they don’t, Alan, they haven’t sacked you yet.  Pardew’s thumbs up to his boss mid-game was cringey, and only out cringed by the fact Mark Bright had to give Parish a nudge to make sure he responded in kind.  Please lose to Hull at the weekend lads, call it an early Christmas present to me.

Nathan Ake has done more good for Chelsea since playing for Bournemouth than in any of his U23 Development squad matches.  He will have dreamed about scoring the goal that kept the Blues top of the table, but he probably didn’t envisage it happening whilst he was playing on the South Coast alongside Jack Wilshere.  

Bournemouth refused to give up against Liverpool and it was the introduction of Fraser and Afobe that did for Klopp’s men.  Let’s be honest, Jurgen, big Benik Afobe up against Lucas was only going to end one way.  Kloppo was gracious in defeat and was thought to be getting on the phone to Pardew to find out exactly what they did in training on Friday as Liverpool need a bit of that right now.

Everton and United closed out the weekend and it reminded us all of the days when José would capably shut up shop away from home when in the lead. It’s not that he has gone all gung-ho in his older, slightly more narky days.  It’s just that he has to turn to Fellaini to close the game out.  There were a mere three minutes on the clock when the Belgian managed to make himself the social media trend of the weekend, and you can only imagine what Mourinho had to say to him after the game.  

Mind you, it plays into his “United are the unluckiest side in the land” narrative.  Zlatan was peak Zlatan after the game, claiming his kick to Coleman’s head was unintentional.  The big Swede claimed that he knows how to kick someone in a way that they never wake up.  If you know how to kick things properly, Ibra, why have you missed so many chances this season, eh?

Follow Chris' daily Tales over at www.talesfromthetopflight.com

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