Which footballer who earns 35k a week is getting all misty-eyed about his youth team days on Twitter?
“Things were so much easier when I earned 100pound a week on wts #stress”.
Which footballer has this effect on his country’s crime and birth rate when he’s playing and scoring according to an eminent policeman?
“Crimes like carjacking, muggings and robberies go down.
“It seems even the criminals want to take time off to see our hero play. Also the birth rates go up.”
Which trigger-happy billionaire is not a pie fan according to Wigan chairman Dave Whelan?
“I offered him a Wigan pie. He wouldn’t have it – he probably thought it had been poisoned. He had nothing, not even a glass of water. He brought his own water with him. So he just stood there in the corner.”