When I heard the rumour that Dougie Freedman was the favourite for the vacant managerial position at Bolton, I dismissed it out of hand.

I honestly believed that there was 0% chance of him leaving Palace for another job. Non-Palace fans will think it's strange, or arrogant that I should take this stance, but that is because they do not understand. In this week’s blog I’ll attempt to explain the legend, and the pain of this week’s events, which saw him walk away from the club that loved him.

Palace fans have put Freedman on a pedestal since his playing days, during which he scored 107 goals in 360 appearances. A less than 1 in 3 return is decent enough for good Championship level striker, but outsiders must wonder why a forward who was never the proverbial 30 goal a season striker, and rarely the 20 goal striker, should be lauded as a folk hero amongst the Palace faithful. The number of goals he scored commanded respect, but it was the big goals in big games that really set him apart. Goals against Wolves and Charlton in important play-off semis stand out, but the goal that will be forever etched on the minds of Palace fans came at Stockport on the final day of the 2000/01 season when Freedman dribbled through the Stockport defence to score the goal that kept Palace up.

But Freedman was so much more than goals. His guile and style set him apart from other British strikers, and he was more likely to dribble through a defence or smash home a difficult volley, than score a “traditional number 9’s” goal. And he seemed to love playing for Palace. He left the club in 1997 to join Wolves, and then had three seasons at Forest, but amassed only 28 goals in 4 ill fated seasons. When he return to  Selhurst in 2000 I recall him stating that he should never have left.

He was much loved at Palace, but other clubs just didn’t take to his style. By the end of the season Freedman had written himself into Palace folklore by scoring THAT goal at Stockport. From that point on it was clear that Palace and Dougie were a match made in heaven, and it would be difficult to prize him away.

Even as the striker’s powers were on the wane, he turned down lucrative moves to Leeds United and a rumoured £1m a deal to finish his career in the Middle East. It was characteristics such as this that made Freedman so popular. In an era where money seems to rule everything, it seemed that Dougie was letting his heart call the shots. Neil W*rn*ck’s arrival at Selhurst Park saw Freedman’s Palace playing career finally draw to a close.

Warnock didn’t fancy him, and gradually forced him out, first making him train the reserves, before finally loaning him out to Leeds and then Southend (who he eventually joined a permanent deal.) In 2010 W*rn*ck did the dirty on Palace just after the club had gone into administration, and left to join QPR. Paul Hart was brought in as caretaker manager to steady the ship and he brought Freedman home in a coaching capacity. It was a shrewd move by Hart, who also brought in Palace cup hero John Pemberton, who immediately won over the fans by bringing in the club hero.

Palace again managed to avoid relegation on the final day of the season, and the team of Hart, Freedman and Pemberton were hailed as heroes.

The club, which was teetering on the edge of obscurity, was brought out of administration that summer by the current owners, and they appointed George Burley as manager and he kept the Doog on as his assistant. Burley was sacked by Christmas, and Freedman was handed the reins as the main man. He saved the club from relegation for a third time, steering them to safety on the penultimate game of the season. “He saved us three times, He saved us three times! Dougie Freedman, He saved us three times!”

As a Palace legend Freedman was always going to be a popular appointment, but he genuinely seemed to be the right man for the job. He understood the club and its fans. He knew that this was a club that had a passion for youth development, and bringing through young players from their academy. He talked sense. He seemed to understand where the club was coming from in terms of its weak financial background, and was prepared to work with the club on putting it back on an even keel. He was prepared to buy cheap players and coach them to make them better. He seemed to be Palace through and through. He knew that beating Brighton was important and lead the team to victory away the Amex, and even bucked a trend by beating Millwall and Charlton in the derbies. He’s always seemed to protect Palace’s interests over his own.

Freedman has often talked about developing and looking after the young players, acting like a father figure to them. He’s encourage the likes Nathaniel Clyne and Wilfried Zaha to avoid leaving the club too early and damaging their development where the likes of John Bostock didn't have that kind of guidance.

If only he could take his own advice. He’s been a manager for less than two years, yet he’s already jumped ship for a bigger and ‘more ambitious’ club. He’s also rumoured to have trebled his salary. And this is ultimately why Palace fans are so shocked and aggrieved at his decision, which seems to have come out of the blue. They loved him because of his Palace-ness, his passion for the club, its ethos, its players and its fans. He seemed to spurn the modern footballing greed for a higher calling. He seemed to embody loyalty and old fashion values.

And then he p*ssed all this up the wall for half a millon a year, and a bigger transfer budget.

To say everyone connected with Crystal Palace FC is gutted would be a spectacular understatement. From the owners to the tea lady, and the fans in between, we’re heart broken.  They say they you should never meet your heroes because you’ll always be disappointed. Well we now know who Dougie Freedman is, and he’s just the same as ever other chancer. I’m not going to hang anyone out to dry for accepting a job on more money, nor joining a ‘better club’. What hurts is that we all thought Freedman was above all that. It turns out he wasn’t.

All the values that we had associated with the man and the manager have gone out the window, and it’s bitterly, bitterly disappointing. The reasons that Freedman was worshiped were based on lies, and therefore I withdraw from the fan club.

I know that players come and go, but the reasons we love or hate them are different. We mostly worshiped them for their performances, but Freedman was supposed to be so much more than that. But ultimately, he wasn’t. I know some people think this is about football, and results. And that’s why they don’t understand. This is about so much more.

Palace could be rock bottom of the league and I’d still feel the same way – utterly cheated. Freedman was my all time Palace hero. I have his shirt, and my brother even got Freedman to send me a wedding card last month, along with a signed photo. I would even have considered calling my first born son Dougie, I certainly won’t be now. And I’m considering a Dougfire for my Freedman memorabilia.

I’m gutted he’s gone, but in the end the reasons we loved him were based on a mythical figure that didn’t exist. For me, the last thread of the romance of football is broken, and it’s hard to see how I, football, or Crystal Palace will ever recover. 23rd October 2012 – the day the music died.