Mock the Week: Managers in crisis, Gabriel Jesus puns and much more

Game over for Arsene Wenger…

Oh Arsene. I think it’s time someone had that chat, isn’t it? It’s all getting rather painful, seeing a once great manager getting more and more frustrated at why it just isn’t happening anymore.

Someone needs to pop out on to the training field this week, put their arm around the tall, elegant Frenchman and say: “Come on, Arsene, it’s finished. It’s time to let go. It’s not coming back, it’s not going to happen.”

It’s hard to exactly pinpoint the moment when Wenger lost his magic. Actually, that is totally incorrect. I can pinpoint the moment exactly. It was when Arsene thought he could replace the likes of Patrick Vieira, Gilberto Silva, Tony Adams, Steve Bould, Martin Keown and Sol Campbell with a bunch of midfielders that were no more than 5ft 7in tall and didn’t enjoy a tackle. That was very much the turning point.

Gary Neville had a point when he looked at the Arsenal midfield chasing the game against Chelsea and said: “You don’t win the Premier League with that!”

It was nice to see both Cesc Fabregas and Petr Cech show respect to Arsenal for not celebrating their respective goal and assist for Chelsea’s third though, wasn’t it?

Eating humble pie

I hate to keep bringing this up, Jurgen, but you screaming “nobody beats us, nobody” at the fourth official last week after Costa missed that penalty was factually incorrect. Swansea, Wolves and Southampton were already on the list before Hull turned Liverpool over at the KCOM Stadium.

Paul Merson and Phil Thompson are thought to be down the local cake shop ordering a homemade humble pie for their assertion that “what does he know about English football?” in reference to Marco Silva, is biting them on the backside.

Silva has won his last four home matches as the new boy in town, and show me an Englishman that would have done that.

Managers in crisis

One those much feted English managers, Eddie Howe, must be peeking over his shoulder with a slightly worried look on his face. Admittedly, shipping goals galore is the perfect audition to be Arsenal’s next manager, but it will help his cause massively if Bournemouth are still in the Premier League.

Six goals at Everton? You’ll have people thinking Ronald Koeman plays attacking football at this rate. As for another English manager, flown in to save the day at Palace, well that’s not really going to plan, is it? Big Sam was that angry about Palace’s defeat at home to Sunderland that he ordered all the players in for a 7am training session.

That’s right, Allardyce missed his standard Sunday morning fry up for extra training. That’s how angry he was.

Moyes, however, looked like a cat that had got the cream. He had convinced Sam that Patrick van Aanholt was still worth £14m, replaced him on the cheap with Bryan Oviedo and even managed to win a game that Jack Rodwell started. Could this be the start of the Sunderland escape?

A writer’s wet dream

I feel as if I should be making more of the whole Gabriel Jesus thing. No, not his talent on a football pitch. We can all see that. But of his name. He is a writer’s wet dream in terms of potential puns.

I know, you are waiting for me to go down the obvious route and give you things like him not being used to playing football on Sunday, how he rose to the occasion to score deep in injury time and how he made Paul Clement quite cross, but I am just not going there.

Anyway, there are doubts about whether Jesus will even be available for the busy Easter period, though I have heard he should be back in time for the Easter Sunday fixture.

Ranieri knows what’s coming…

Claudio Ranieri’s bosses felt the need to publicly back him yesterday, which didn’t make Claudio particularly happy. Ranieri’s been in the game long enough, and had enough public votes of confidence to know what’s coming. If they had managed to get into half time at 0-0 on Sunday, who knows what could have happened.

But no, this is the current Leicester and they managed to ship two goals in two minutes whilst the half time kettle was boiling. Incredible.

Kasper Schmeichel, thought to be far from the biggest fan of the Italian, is starting to get worried. They might actually have to get themselves relegated to get a new gaffer.

Jose, on the other hand? Well, he was just happy to declare United the winners in a match that they did actually win.

Typical West Ham

One of the positive off-shoots of West Ham selling Payet is that they can now rely on Andy Carroll to inspire the team. The big guy scored yet again against a Southampton team that have been mentally walking out at Wembley ever since the final whistle went in the semi-final.

A Payet-less West Ham looks quite good all of a sudden, which is good news for Bilic with the rumours that Mancini would quite like to replace him.

Just one thing for West Ham fans to consider, though. Southampton have signed Martin Caceres, the ex-Juventus defender on a free, who is a far better player than Jose Fonte.

Would it have not made more sense to get him yourselves and save £8m in the process? Of course it would, which is probably why Lady Brady and the gang did the complete opposite.

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