Mock the Week: Wenger isn’t to blame, Lallana costing Liverpool points and more

And people mocked Arsene for not studying West Bromwich Albion’s set-pieces. Did they not notice that Arsenal had seven players marking Gareth McAuley?

That tells me Arsene had done some very high-tech analysis of the situation. The only flaw was seven players marking McAuley meant that it left Aaron Ramsey to pick up Craig Dawson and Rambo, quite clearly, couldn’t have been less bothered about that task.

You can fly as many planes as you want, Gooners fans, but if an international midfielder is capable of letting his man run past him twice from a corner, having not had his mistake quietly pointed out to him the first time, then you have bigger issues than you think. Wenger in or Wenger out, I doubt he told Aaron to “fall asleep when the ball comes in” so can you really blame the gaffer?

Well, of course you can. Because Arsene is set to stay. It tells me that the board are as spineless and weak as the core of the Arsenal starting XI. They were pretty quick to get rid of George Graham more than 20 years ago. Mind you, the directors who did that are probably either dead or very much in God’s waiting room.

I genuinely feel like I have nothing new or funny (no shock there, admittedly) to add to the Wenger scenario. Mind you, it is the world’s worst game of the hokey cokey I have ever seen. Wenger in, Wenger out and all that.

Sunderland’s 0-0 with Burnley was so dull that even Ellis Short’s wife fell asleep. Still, it was good of Moyes to let Defoe rest before tonight’s game with Germany. No, he didn’t drop him but played with such little attacking intent that the little striker was able to pretty much sit down for 90 minutes knowing he wasn’t going to miss much.

What was missing for me in the Man City v Liverpool game was a few clear cut chances. I mean, all that frenetic running round is all well and good but if you can’t create situations where players just have to literally kick it straight to score, what is the point?

Oh. Adam Lallana, let’s hope that Liverpool don’t miss out on Champions League football by two points, eh? What a miss that was. Aguero was grateful, as he can hope that Pep was too busy laughing at Lallana to notice his collection of shocking misses. Considering Pep doesn’t appear to be Sergio’s number one fan, I’d suggest the Argentine scores a few of them. Sure, he got the equaliser but still, he’s supposed to be amazing and badly treated, remember?

One thing you definitely need to think about when you take a trip to the Riverside is how many centre backs you will need on the pitch in the last ten minutes because, as we all know, Boro cannot stop scoring stupid amounts of late goals, right? It was weird to see Jose have a back seven at Middlesbrough, but United remain unbeaten for quite a while now and even moved out of 6th place. OK, it was down to 7th overnight but the three points put them into the unfamiliar territory of 5th. And as for Victor Valdes? He did more for United in that single moment than he did when he was actually at the club.

What’s that? Dele Alli won a penalty? That almost never happens. Let me guess, someone was foolish enough to leave their leg within a mile of the England midfielder? He didn’t fall over it, did he? Well I never. Still, with no Harry Kane to add to his goal tally, Alli was allowed to get up and take it himself, because he won it. Just like we all used to in the school playground. Spurs won’t catch Chelsea, but they may well get to play their European football at Wembley again next season – as well as all their other football.

Can we say it was all Claudio’s fault yet? The results certainly seem to suggest it might have been. Sevilla were seen off and now West Ham have been cast aside. Credit to Bilic, though, he went all tactics crazy and experimented with the revolutionary idea of playing a right back at, wait for it, right back! It didn’t miraculously teach West Ham how to defend, however. If Bilic wants to get very clever, he might consider telling Mark Noble he isn’t very good anymore.

It’s all very interesting down at the bottom, with Bournemouth gliding past Swansea and Palace dragging Watford into it all. I think we can assume that Walter might have a new assignment next season? Sunderland, whilst still doomed, may well get to look over the garden fence and point and laugh at Middlesbrough who seem destined to join them. Who else will be there with them remains to be seen, but Hull look like the most likely candidates.

What a time to play Everton, when Lukaku wants to prove to the world he is too good for the Toffees and played like it once again. £130k-a-week or go and play for a big club? Good choice Rom, and no doubt you can share a cab away from Goodison with your gaffer come the end of the season.