Tottenham striker Jermain Defoe claims he considered quitting the club during the January transfer window due to a lack of matches.
The 28-year-old, who has been at Spurs for six years over two spells, has started just 11 matches this season and made only three substitute appearances.
He scored his first Premier League goal of the campaign against Wolverhampton Wanderers on Sunday, but it remains to be seen if will feature against AC Milan in the Champions League on Wednesday.
“It’s been hard. You start to think: ‘What am I doing here?’ I’m used to playing in big games,” Defoe told the Daily Mail.
“I’ve played in big games for my clubs and for my country.”
“It’ll be a tough game (against Milan). I hope I’m playing and if I can score and we win the game then it’ll be great.”
“But I remember playing against Charlton and scoring two goals, then the next weekend I missed out.”
“I was upset about that because once I start scoring I’m confident and I have the feeling I know I’ll score in the next game. We played Manchester United and I thought, ‘I’m playing’, but I didn’t start.”
Defore previously left Spurs to spend one year at Portsmouth in a permanent move between 2008 and 2009.
But the former West Ham man does not believe he would have been allowed to leave White Hart Lane mid-season for a second time, even temporarily.
“I don’t think the club would have allowed me to go on loan,” he said.
“But it was like when I decided to leave here and went to Portsmouth because I got to a situation where I thought: ‘I’m not sitting on the bench’.”
“I’m 28, I don’t need to be sitting on the bench. I don’t need anyone to put their arm round my shoulder and say: ‘Just keep it going’. And if it means I have to work even harder, then I will.”