The 5 ‘Worst Things’ about being a Newcastle fan

Following yesterday’s article of the top five ‘best things’ about being a Newcastle United fan. It’s time to look at the other end of the equation. The 5 ‘worst things’ about being a Newcastle fan.

Mike Ashley.

Whilst I should really curb the majority of my thoughts on Newcastle United’s owner, I will try to offer some child friendly analysis of the man’s incompetence.  Mike Ashley has leaped from one amateur mistake to another since he took over the club in 2007. The return of Kevin Keegan then alleged undermining of the Newcastle legend with the appointment of Dennis Wise as chief meddler bordered on insanity. This caused widespread condemnation amongst the Newcastle fans and subsequently led to Mike Ashley attempting to sell the club. Such uncertainty over the club most certainly led to Newcastle’s relegation last season to the Championship. Whoever is advising Mike Ashley on all things Newcastle seriously needs his head checking. Only recently with the fans severely anti-Mike Ashley, our esteemed owner had the cracking idea of allowing to sell the naming rights of St James’s Park. Talk about digging yourself deeper in a hole. I can’t understand why he thought that would be a good idea, particularly when everyone dislikes him as it is. Sportsdirect@StJamesPark is where we play now apparently. Pull the other one will ya Mike. That’s a Spam email address.

Lack of Silverware.

So close, yet so far for a Newcastle United the past 41 years. With our last decent piece of Silverware the old Inter-Cities Fairs Cup in 1969. We may be desperate but we have not lowered ourselves to claiming the Intertoto Cup triumph in 2006 is worthy of note. Two FA Cup finals in the late 1990’s and a UEFA Cup Semi-Final in 2004 are all we have to show. The post Christmas collapse in 1996 for the Premier League title hurts considerably, still. What is more disappointing is the fact that the majority of Newcastle United fans have not been alive or can remember the last time the team won anything of any significance.

Laughing Stock?

Newcastle United have become the brunt of the majority of jokes in recent years. Let’s be honest, we have not helped ourselves with mismanagement and dodgy appointments. (Joe Kinnear anyone?) Our media portrayal for a while has been that of a circus lunging for one crisis to another and Newcastle United’s relegation was not exactly mourned by the Premier League. I remember being disgusted at the significant roar of the Aston Villa fans upon them beating us at Villa Park to send Newcastle down on the final game of the season. It was pretty atrocious to be honest and symbolic of the feeling towards Newcastle United. They believe we are deluded to our grandeur and expectation. What a load of rubbish, they won’t be saying that when we are in the top four next season.



Transfer Tragedies

Newcastle United has to be one of the most consistent purchasers of duff footballers in England. Over the past few years the Magpies have purchased big money players from all over the world for them only to fail superbly. Newcastle can be a graveyard for many a footballers career. The list of players is so long so I shall only touch on a few but Hugo Viana for example, what a reputation he came with. Shocking. Albert Luque, another with a glittering reputation in Spain and an international at the time. Terrible. Marcelino Elena, who Ruud Gullit called at the time ‘one of Europe’s best.’ Yea Ruud whatever you say. Michael Owen, the ultimate sick note if there ever was one hardly played for the club and never looked like he wanted to be there in the first place. Fabricio Coloccini looked to be another after his terrible first season in the Premier League. But he has been a star performer in the Championship so there is hope for him yet.

That away kit.

Yes, it’s awful. Whilst being quite a fan of the third kit, Newcastle’s mustard away shirt is pretty disgusting. Again Newcastle became a laughing stock within the Media. Its decisions like this that just fuel the flame for our joke club status. Such kits may be a thing of the past with Adidas not renewing its long term agreement with the club. It appears they have reached an agreement to make Tottenham Hotspurs shirts from next year and Newcastle in turn will have their shirts made by Puma. No mustard stripes please lads. Ok.

What do you think are the worst things about being a Newcastle United fan?


Click here to view THE 5 BEST THINGS about being a Newcastle United fan