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Conservatives, Chelsea? Lib Dems, Newcastle? If the parties were football teams…

Football and politics are alike in a lot of ways… yes, really.

The support of a single force, the uniting behind a cause and the respect for a leader show that both entities have similar ‘requirements’, making them comparable.

While the Premier League’s title race is now over (congrats, Chelsea) the General Election is in full swing, with the outcome looming, as the fate of the United Kingdom remains unclear.

So the big question: which team would each party be? That’s the one we’re all asking, right? Well, we’ve answered that for you right here…

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Conservatives – Chelsea

Chelsea champs

Wealthy, affluent and disliked anywhere north of the M25, Chelsea and the Tories have plenty in common. Both blue outfits rule the land as we speak, but despite their positions of power, they’re loved by very few and are universally hit out at by other fans and followers of rivals outfits. Their leaders (David Cameron and Jose Mourinho) are both pretty charismatic, too

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Labour – Manchester United

Man U

Once great and the dominating power of the nation, Manchester United and the Labour party have fallen on their arses in recent times. The football club have struggled since parting company with their all-powerful leader – Sir Alex Ferguson – while falling off their perch to fight it out with ‘lesser’ clubs. However, they appear to be on their way back now, as do Labour, who have grown in popularity since the last General Election.

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Lib Dems – Newcastle


Longing for success but led by a bumbling fool, Newcastle and the Lib Dems seem like a good fit. The Magpies have been popular since their return to the top tier of the English game, but the past few years have seen their standing decline, with Mike Ashley willing to do anything he can to keep his side at the top table, much like Nick Clegg and the Coalition agreement.

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UKIP – Millwall


“We’re like Millwall Football Club, ‘Everyone hates us and we don’t care!’”

The words of Nigel Farage himself! He’s right as well, outside of a minority of constituencies, UKIP are generally disparaged, with their right wing leanings alienating younger voters, while Farage’s reputation does little to boost their standing. Millwall are also disliked outside of Bermondsey, with their ‘up and at ‘em’ no nonsense style divisive to say the least.

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SNP – Celtic


Powerful north of the border, but a bit of a joke in England we have Celtic and the SNP. Scotland’s leading party have grown in power since calls for independence from the United Kingdom, but a failure to achieve this and a lack of popularity in England means that they will struggle to make any sort of impact outside of their own home turf. Much like Celtic then, with the hooped side dominant in their own league, but, arguably, little more than a midtable Championship side in terms of quality.

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Article title: Conservatives, Chelsea? Lib Dems, Newcastle? If the parties were football teams…

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