FIFA ROCKED BY NON-CORRUPTION ALLEGATIONS

It took years, but investigative journalists have finally come up with a FIFA-related scandal that threatens the very foundations of global football graft and kickbacks.

WOB! believes FIFA has uncovered a senior member of the Executive Committee who was NOT hopelessly corrupt.

“It’s impossible to express our dismay at this deplorable turn of events,” an unnamed FIFA glove puppet wailed. “So we won’t bother, as usual. But we’ll probably launch one of our notoriously opaque internal investigations that will never be published before locking him up in one of our tax-haven FIFA prison islands off the coast of- oops, I’ve said enough.”

The name of the official is currently being kept secret to protect him from an inevitable backlash. Some speculate that the 67 year old Belgian is considering an identity change. It appears that attempts to bribe him stretch back over many years and a long trail of emails support the view that the miscreant repeatedly refused to make any personal profit from his position.

Fifa president Sepp Blatter could not be contacted for comment – because he was busy judging a wet t-shirt competition on Ipanema Beach with the deputy mayor of Rio de Janeiro. It’s believed that he is delighted that yet another embarrassing sports politics story has escaped while everyone is watching the football instead,