In his most candid overheard interview ever, Wayne Rooney has expressed DOUBTS about being a professional footballer while talking on his mobile phone in a Rio hotel lobby. The England striking legend feels that he may have been rushed into becoming a teenage soccer sensation and might have benefited from a longer period in the reserves as a semi-mythical creature of boundless potential, or could even have had a real job. “I could have gone to university, and become a doctor of football,” he was overheard saying,”Or I could have driven a van like what Ian Wright did. Or directed television commercials like Ridley Scott.” There was an audible sob as he continued. “It’s all been too easy for me and now it’s all hard.”
It’s suspected that Rooney is now considering options in different sports. “Snooker is fun and that’s also a white ball on a green pitch,” he said, “And polo looks good too, on grass, wearing those nice shirts and riding horses in Berkshire, which is where the Queen lives. Mickey Owen says he’ll lend me a nag.”
It is believed the supersonic Scouse striker has already had a secret second career, winning over 30 wrestling bouts as the masked mystery man known as “Red Toffee”.