Almost all of the online literature dedicated to her seems to regard Kimberley Mills as the only Wag yet to “cash in on her boyfriend’s fame.” Thought about logically for a moment, taking a second to estimate how many professional footballers there are in the country and how likely any of these players are likely to be celibate, this line is absolute nonsense.  But one thing you learn reading these sites is how keen we are too damn Wags with feint, and often patronising, praise.  For my part, I should probably point out that I think Mills has lovely hair.  Very shiny.

Shy of publicity as she is, she has restricted her appearances to procedural ones- the Royal occasions it would have been impolite, and detrimental to the nation’s spirits, to have avoided.  So, naturally, we were able to catch a glimpse of her on Nuts TV’s ‘Real Footballers’ Wives’.  What I love best about that is the title of the show suggesting, as it seems to, that an overly cautious producer somewhere has done their best to ensure no confusion.  Always nice when television types think to make the distinction between fiction and non-fiction for their viewers and put it right up there in the opening credits.

She is engaged (possibly- nobody seems sure) to David Bentley, widely regarded as a sort of rubbish version of David Beckham (even his name sounds vaguely like a store’s own brand knock off), which, since about 2007 and his move to L.A Galaxy, has made two of them.

Click here to see where does Kimberley ranks among her fellow Tottenham wags