Wag Weekly: Mr Rooney’s very significant other

Coleen’s Wikipedia page makes note of her long harboured acting desires, claiming she picked up the bug when appearing in the school production of Grease and Bugsy Malone.  And wasn’t it the late Sir John Hare that used to tell a similar tale of his thespian ambitions beginning when he landed the lead male role in Giggleswick’s lower six’s production of ‘Hairspray’?

Come to think of it, it may have actually been Oliver (Laurence) and the play may actually have been Oliver (the musical).  But, whatever the specifics, the tradition of budding stage stars gaining their first exposure to the lights, the critics and the pre-performance nerve induced vomiting whilst performing muddling, middle of the road fluff in their formative, acne dominated years is a proud one, and, had things went in a slightly different direction, the British theatre industry, we can confidently assert, would have been honoured to welcome Coleen to their fabled legions.

Alas it was not to be, but not for want of trying.  In fact, so strong were Coleen’s acting aspirations,  she hung up her A Level career boots early, choosing, instead, to pursue her board treading dreams at that most famous of all British theatrical institutions: Hollyoaks.

Some concerned voices were raised at the early retirement from education, many noting that as bright a girl as Coleen (she left school with eleven more GCSEs than most Premier League footballers) could probably manage to work her Hollyoaks schedule- enunciating badly written dialogue over the top of a low cut pink tank top- around the average college student schedule- enunciating lazily formed opinions about politics over the top of a black headed sweat top.  But their fears were misguided as she stormed her way to a three million advertising deal with George ASDA, a two million book publishing contract with Harper Collins and countless best dressed awards.

Of course, at some point in amongst all this, she married Wayne Rooney and it would be short sighted of us to deny the part this union played in her impressive career trajectory.  Without it, we could probably have ruled out, for example, the partnership she formed with Trevor McDonald on his ‘Tonight’ show in 2006. Invited on to discuss her sister’s illness, her performance was an admirable one, dominated by informed lucidity and a bright and infectiously charming manner.

All and all, a display that appeared to suggest that, whatever else the Rooneys do as a couple, public speaking classes, like Ann Summers parties and Sex & the City boxset marathons, are a strictly ‘girls only’ affair.

More Coleen Rooney images: Coleen Rooney WAG Gallery

Written
by Chris Mackin