Penned in 1929, Virginia Woolf’s seminal essay ‘A room of one’s own’- a stinging, eloquently argued and brilliantly crafted piece, weaving deftly between concise thesis and neatly placed humour, sombre truth and heightened fiction- suggests how different literature would look if females were afforded the same luxuries as their male counterparts, namely the room of one’s own mentioned in the title and five hundred quid spending money (presumably for pencils and that).
Many female writers are still feeling the benefit of the work today, especially those on English literature courses jumping at the opportunity to study it on their ‘feminist theory in literature’ module, ahead of Elizabeth Gaskell’s ‘Mary Barton’ or, indeed, any other work that doesn’t come equipped with a filmised version starring Colin Firth.
Penned in 2006, Katie Price’s ‘Angel’, takes a slightly different tact to Wolfe’s missive, and appears to argue that as well as the bare minimum requisites cited by Woolf it’s beneficial for the contemporary female writer to come equipped with one of two others; specifically, a ghostwriter of one’s own.
Just the seventeen number one books for Price, uncharacteristically reticent about her level of actual input to the process: “obviously I can’t write,” she reveals- in the same way one may expect John La Carre to reveal “obviously I can’t do topless photo shoots for the Sun and appear on jungle based reality television shows,”- before going on to say other things, seemingly oblivious to the full connotations of her opening gambit; one thing all the guides appear agree on is that having the ability to write is something like integral to the book writing business, up there with having enough ink to print it out when it’s finished.
But we concern ourselves with frivolous matters like literature, when the WAG community is positively abuzz with speculation that Price could be preparing a return to its heralded ranks; a source close to her (and presuming we’re being liberal with time frames and taking in to account that it’s not you, and it’s not me, that gives us roughly an entire country of males to select from) reveals that “She’d like to finish what she started with Frank and she’d definitely do that Ronaldo.”
Happy to have her back, of course, (not literally, I can imagine that would be a bit of a nightmare actually, having Jordan’s back, what with the strains and digging bra straps), but you can’t help shake the idea that, were she still with us, Ms. Woolf, even allowing for all her admirable feminist urges, would long ago have joined heat magazine and that loud women in your office in pledging her support to ‘Team Pete’. All we ask is trust.
Written by Chris Mackin
More Katie Price images: Katie Price WAG Gallery