You may remember Lauren Budd as the aspiring model once romantically involved with David Walliams, the pair splitting following reports that Budd had been cheating on him. Perturbed at being two timed like this, Walliams fled and Budd could hardly have expected any less. For Walliams, two timing anything is considered, at best, criminally wasteful; he likes to do it at least another four times in every remaining episode of the series then once again in the Christmas special.
Eventually though, Budd decided she neither wanted that one nor that one and regrouped, moving on from both men and bagging John Carew, the Aston Villa striker and former beau of Alesha Dixon – whose quick dismissal of the Norwegian leads us to suspect she’s not as generous in assessing relationships as she is in assessing a clumsy fox trot by Joe Calzaghe. Still, it’s worked out for Budd, who may have felt like she needed a change and finding in Carew a man as far removed from an entertainer and comedian …well, David Walliams, actually. Sorry, what was my point again?
Weighing in at an impressive six foot, Budd is described in one newspaper (The Washington Post, I believe, though I would have to double check) as ‘Amazonian’- cor, talk about the game’s global appeal. Though not too loudly: Richard Scudamore may overhear, and the last thing anybody needs in an away trip to the small Turkish town of Pontus, by the Black sea where, Ancient Greek mythology has it, the original Amazon tribes resided- especially if, on the coach home, they’re forced to sit next to the old lady who takes her teeth out so as to properly enjoy her family sized bag of Fruit Pastels. On the plus side, fighting off hordes of bellicose warriors- skilled in both hand to hand and armed combat, and keen to use your sperm to procreate before killing you or exiling you to the unforgiving wilderness to fend for yourself- will seem like a cinch and a relatively uneventful away trip to anybody who’s ever tried to find a parking space in or around Selhurst Park.
More Lauren Budd images: Lauren Budd WAG Gallery
Written By Chris Mackin
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