Did you hear the one about Peter Crouch signing for Chelsea? It’s no joke! Rumour has it that Roman Abramovich is hell-bent on furnishing his illustrious squad with a lofty target man.
Whether or not that ‘nuisance in the box’ turns out to be the man dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 2006, some equally baffling names have entered the fold.
West Ham’s eternally-crocked Andy Carroll was linked just before he continued to be, well, eternally-crocked and now an approach for Ashley Barnes is on the cards.
No, not a similarly named wonderkid but the Ashley Barnes who turned out for Torquay United at the beginning of this decade and has just 17 Premier League goals to his name.
Perhaps there’s method in the madness? That, and more, is explored in the video above.