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The Urban Dictionary guide to Football (featuring Arsenal, Chelsea and Alan Shearer)

Every pastime of interest develops its own language. Music buffs understand references to albums of old, while movie goers compare situations in real life to those they have witnessed on the big screen.

Naturally, football is much the same, and there are some expressions that only some will understand…

We’re not talking about clichés such as the ‘corridor of uncertainty’, ‘the hole’ and the ‘quarterback role’, more the sort of things you may hear from those having a real laugh while watching the game.

From references to players’ actions both on and off of the pitch, others explain in detail just what a name can really mean in a certain context. All definitions come from the rud, crude and utterly hilarious Urban Dictionary archives. Enjoy!

Emile Heskey syndrome…

Heskey syndrome

Poor old Emile, always the butt of the jokes.



Adds a new flavour to what happened at the World Cup…

FIFA bitch

FIFA bitch

If you haven’t got one, you probably are one…

Puffy coat rule

Pffy coat rule

It’s a science…

Alan Shearer Island

Shearer Island

His hairline is more interesting than his punditry…

John Terry…

John Terry

Crude, just crude…



Perhaps the ultimate footballing ‘lad’.

Pulled a Gerrard

pulled a Gerrard

Not one to say on Merseyside…



The sort of bloke who goes to the shop looking for Alexis Sanchez but returns with Kim Kalllstrom.

Pastry Lampard

Pasty Lampard

While you’re at Greggs…

Article title: The Urban Dictionary guide to Football (featuring Arsenal, Chelsea and Alan Shearer)

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