WAGs Galleries

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The WAG galleries serve a similar purpose to your friends’ Facebook pages: lots of carefully posed shots of football babes featuring sucked in cheek bones and attention seeking and some writing next to them that you will never bother to read.

Thankfully, pending updates, the option to send Coleen Rooney an embarrassingly gushing message when you’re drunk at three A.M does not exist here, nor will you live in mortifying fear that you, and all your mutual friends, will one day soon be tagged in that photo were you are quite visibly looking down Joanna Murphy’s blouse. And the paranoia induced by an abrupt abdication of online status by somebody you have just this moment instant messaged in the chat online function is not a concern: the only abrupt abdication of online status here will be you slamming your laptop shut at the sound of a key turning or approaching footsteps.

Better, then, than Facebook, though It wasn’t until one read that Imogen Thomas- who, like most of the girls feature in these galleries and, most likely, your Facebook friend list, has slept with Jermaine Defoe – was keeping her friends up to date with her Swine Flu recovery through the newly fangled medium of annoying status updates, that one paused to properly consider the true damage that could be wielded by a reality TV show dating a footballer and her Facebook page.

So, if ever struck by melancholy, as you skate through images of beautiful girls you will never get to sleep with, console yourself thus: if you did sleep with them, you would be, as is the etiquette of the day, forced to add them on Facebook and follow them on twitter. Nothing’s worth that.